Gonny's Heart

From Gonny’s Heart

Dear Girlfriend,

“Believing” can something be so painful! Don’t you think so? Those times when we have chosen to take God at His Word and to trust Him, regardless the enormous challenges and (or) impossibilities we might be facing. Times when we are waiting on God to intervene and deliver us out of our difficulties and after such a long time we find ourselves still waiting. A time, such as I experienced a couple of weeks ago. I had received a breakthrough from God in an area of affliction that I had been praying a long time for, but after a short time of rejoicing and feeling the relieve of that battle, I found myself confronted with that same affliction once again.

Yes, believing can be painful! And to tell you the truth I had a down-hearted moment. For the first time in my life of 54 years I told the Lord I did not want to believe anymore. I don’t mean I wanted to quit believing in God or His Word, no, I meant I did not want to go back in the “trenches” and “stand in faith” regarding that particular affliction.

“Standing in faith” can be tremendous spiritual warfare. The Bible says that we fight the “good fight of faith” (1 Timothy 6:12). To contend for God’s promises is a good fight. Why? Because in the end we win! What the enemy wants to do is knock us out of our position of “standing”. He wants us to be moved through our circumstances and emotions; when we feel we just cannot handle it anymore. My father always taught me while I was growing up that “faith” ignores circumstances and is not based on what we feel or experience in the natural, but what God says in His Word!

Well, sometimes we can get so tired and weary and discouraged that we just don’t want to stand any more. I had such a moment! However, let me share with you the wonderful experience I had with God’s unconditional love and unfailing compassion during that time.

As I was weeping I turned on the TV. and Bishop T.D. Jakes was talking about Jesus’ disciple Thomas. Let me tell you something I learned about Thomas. Thomas is always referred to as “Thomas the Doubter”. This is based upon the fact that when Jesus revealed Himself to His disciples for the first time (after His death and resurrection) that Thomas wasn’t there. When the disciples told him the incredible news of Jesus’ resurrection and that they had “seen the Lord”, Thomas said: “Unless I see in His hands the print of nails and put my finger into the print of the nails and put my hand into His side, I will not believe” (John 20:24-29).

I believe that Thomas should not be labeled as “the doubter”. After all when Jesus announced that He was going back to Judea where the Jews had sought to stone Him, it was Thomas who said: “Let us also go that we may die with Him.” Someone who is willing to die for what he believes is not a doubter (John 11:7-16).

We see here a disciple, a follower of Christ, who is discouraged, weary, and plain tired. But what happened? Jesus, who knew all things by the Spirit, came back for Thomas! He took his hand and put his finger in the nail print of His hand and then into His side, where the soldiers had pierced Him. He did not judge Thomas but said: “Do not be unbelieving but believing.”

This showed me that when I, as one who considers herself a strong believer, have a moment that my faith might not be on the mountain top but rather in the valley of discouragement, that He will come to me and touch me! Jesus knows exactly where to touch us and how to minister to us in time of distress. By His wounds we are healed! I cried out for that touch and His Life-giving power flowed through my entire being and regenerated my spirit with His strength. He touched me and I was made whole!

I’m back in the trenches now. Standing and believing! Contending for His promises that are in Him, Yes and Amen. In other words: they are for sure! (2 Corinthians 1:20). I will wait on Him (Isaiah 30:18; I love that scripture!) and by the grace of God I will stand. In the end I win!! “Now thanks be unto God, who ALWAYS leads us in triumph in Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:14).

I will leave you with this old but relevant song I know:
He touched me; Oh yes, He touched me
And oh the joy that flood my soul
Something happened and now I know
He touched me and made me whole!